Forgiveness - Carrie Ann Ryan
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Carrie Ann Ryan Carrie Ann Ryan


Book 3.7 in the Redwood Pack Series

He almost lost his mate and now he must prove he was worth the cost.

Adam almost lost Bay once and not only to the enemy.

He pushed her away to protect her but now he’ll do anything to keep her.

Bay loves her mate beyond anything and wants him to realize that he’s always had her heart.

When Bay’s new powers bring them closer together, they’ll have a chance to see what their mating can truly be.

And Adam can finally do the one thing he’s been avoiding.

Forgiving himself.

read an excerpt

Forgiveness is Book 3.7 in the Redwood Pack series

The story of Adam Jamenson and Bay Milton began in Enforcer’s Redemption.

Forgiveness Characters Profiles


Chapter One

She moved with grace, agility, and just that bit of sex appeal that had Adam Jamenson wishing they were alone, naked, sweaty, and doing every dirty thing that came to his mind. If one of the pups around his mate looked at her the way he was, Adam would have to beat the ever-loving crap out of him.


Bay Milton—no, Jamenson now, and, boy, did he like the sound of that—planted her feet in the cool grass and fisted her hands at her hips. Her wild, scarlet-red hair blew in the wind in a disarray of curls that reminded Adam of how she looked when she rode him long through the night, her hair bouncing along with those full breasts of hers.

He groaned and shifted his stance, careful not to wake a sleeping, snuggling Micah, who slept strapped into the harness on Adam’s chest. Adam knew he must have looked like a completely different person from before, what with his son in a baby harness, the cane he hated using by his side, and his position on the sidelines, rather than in the thick of it.

Things had changed.

He had changed.

At least, he knew he had. He wasn’t sure the rest of the Pack knew it yet. They still acted cautious around him, afraid to speak to him harshly or contradict him. That would change with time. He just had to show them that he had, in fact, changed.

“Okay, you guys, you’re here because you’re ready to find your positions in the Pack, but you don’t know how to efficiently control your wolf —yet.” Bay strode in front of the line of teens who had long since passed the age of their first change but still lacked the control and discipline needed to be an enforcer in the Redwood Pack.

Not the Enforcer. No, that was Adam’s job.

One-legged and all.

His mate and love of his life, Bay, had turned out to be one fine Enforcer’s mate, doing almost everything he had as the Enforcer, and because of their bond, she felt the same threats to the Pack that he did—just to a lesser extent.

It was as if the goddess knew the Redwoods—and Adam—needed another to step in when Adam was healing.

After all, having one’s leg ripped off by a demon wasn’t the easiest thing to get over.

If one ever did.

Nevertheless he would heal—he had to.

In fact, he’d already begun to because seeing his mate and child in the hands of the demon, Caym, had stolen any ounce of stubbornness and pride from him. He’d crawled, broken and bleeding, to the depths of any despair he’d thought he’d had and failed.

It had been Bay, his half-demon mate, who’d saved them all.

He watched her move gracefully again, this time showing the young wolves how to roll to duck a punch. Adam held back a groan as she stood up and wiggled her very sweet ass in snug yoga pants.

He didn’t miss the quick glances of some of the older teens either.

Just for fun—and because, hell, he was the Enforcer—he let out a growl, marking what was his.

The young men froze, ducked their heads, and bared their throats. Maybe if he hadn’t been sore as hell from standing on his new prosthetic leg for so long, he would have shown those boys exactly whom they were messing with, but he wasn’t in the mood.

Plus, he had Micah attached to his chest, and that little one was more important than a pissing contest.

“Adam Jamenson,” Bay scolded as she fisted her hands on her hips.

Adam smiled and watched her green eyes narrow and glow gold in annoyance. She was a feisty redhead—but his feisty redhead.

“What’s wrong, darling?” he said causally, a grin threatening to break out over his face—something that was sure to scare the pups.

He heard a snicker or two from some of the pups who hadn’t been watching his mate’s ass, but they shut up quickly at her glare.

Then his mate rolled her eyes and tossed her hair behind her shoulders. “I swear boys never grow up, no matter how hard they try.”

The girls in the group laughed at that, and Bay joined them.

Adam cleared his throat but didn’t tug Bay close like he’d like to. He had to show that they were strong on their own as well as together while they were training. “That’s a bit sexist, don’t you think?” he teased.

Bay narrowed her eyes a bit more then winked. “Don’t get me started on sexism in a werewolf Pack, oh mate of mine. I’ll let you off the hook because you happen to be holding the cutest baby in the world.”

Micah woke up at his mother’s words and gurgled his appreciation. Adam lifted Micah a bit, patted his little diapered butt, and watched as Bay’s face brightened. He knew his mate loved their child more than anything in the world, and he didn’t fault her for it. No, he loved Micah just as much.

He hadn’t always shown it.

He swallowed hard but didn’t show any other expression at the memory. God, he’d been such an ass.

A fucking ass.

He’d walked away from his mate when she needed him the most because he’d had to say goodbye to Anna, his first mate who’d died so many years before. He’d walked away emotionally from Bay long before that.

Fuck, he needed to kick his own ass more than Caym had.

Adam was still surprised Bay had even stayed with him. Frankly, he wouldn’t have blamed her for picking up Micah and walking away from him without a glance back.

Luckily for him, she’d stayed for Micah and the Pack.

He wasn’t sure she’d stayed for him though—not that he deserved it.

He still needed to prove he’d changed. Prove he was worthy of her.

Though he didn’t deserve it, he needed her forgiveness.

He watched as Bay finished up the training and sent the pups on their way. Ignoring the pain in his stump, he leaned on his cane to bend down and pick up the yoga mat she’d used to stretch out before the training. Images of just how she’d bent and twisted in order to do so made the pain in his leg worth it.

Because he was a wolf and not a normal human, his recovery time from the forced amputation was abundantly less than what it could have been. Already he could move without his cane if needed, and the prosthesis fit him perfectly. His brother and doctor, North, refitted him every other day. Though Adam knew it was too frequent at this point, he let his brother worry about him only because it not only made Bay feel better but North and their mother as well.

He’d do anything to get the looks of fear off their faces. They’d tried to hide it, but he knew the fear was still there. He knew they were all afraid he’d fall into the abyss again and fracture, turning back into the wolf who drank too much, hurt those he loved, and continually threw his life away. He’d done that before he’d had his anchor—his Bay. And now, with Micah in the picture, he knew he had a future.

That is, as long as they defeated the Centrals.

That was another matter altogether.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Bay asked as she took the mat from his hands.

Adam gave a small growl and frowned. “Helping you clean up.”

Bay rolled her eyes. “I could have handled it. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He watched as she winced at her words, but he shook his head before she could apologize. Even though it grated on him, he wasn’t about to make an issue of it. He needed her to see him as more than a wounded man, but he also wanted her to need him more. She mattered more.

“I won’t push myself. I promise. I just wanted to help my mate.” He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips.

Her skin tasted of ice and berries, an intoxicating combination that set his wolf on edge, nudging at his skin. His wolf loved her and her wolf just as much as he did—something he loved about being a werewolf in the first place. There were two of them—two souls—sharing one body that loved and mated the same person and, in Bay’s case, who also possessed two wolves.

“She’s worth far more than either of us,” his wolf said, leaning back to allow Adam the control he needed. It felt good to hear his wolf speak. It had been far too long since they’d shared a relationship where one wasn’t afraid of the other—where one didn’t blame the other for death and pain.

“Adam, you know I wasn’t calling you weak,” Bay said as she pulled back, running a hand over Micah’s head.

Their son gurgled his delight, and she picked him up out of his harness, nuzzling his soft head against her chin.

Adam ignored her use of the word weak. He wasn’t weak, not by a long shot. He was the damn Enforcer of the Redwood Pack—one legged and all.

The sight of his mate holding their child did odd things to Adam. All at once, he wanted to howl to the moon, praising the goddess for his virility as a father, and, at the same time, cover them with his body to ensure their safety.

Apparently, being a father caused one to go ‘nucking futs’.

He grinned at the saying of one of the pups he’d taught.

Bay would hurt him if he kept cursing around Micah, and since his son was the smartest son of all sons, he knew Micah would pick up on the words soon.

After all, his Micah was the son of Bay, the most beautiful wolf in the world, and himself—a wolf not too bad if he listened to Bay.

“What is that smile for?” Bay asked as she started walking toward their home, Micah on her hip.

Adam took the mat from her arms and walked beside her, not using his cane as much as he had the previous week. The pain in his stump numbed as he got used to the walk.

“Just thinking about how our child is the smartest and best baby in the world.”

Bay let out a laugh that sent shivers down his spine. “You’re going to fill his little head with all that nonsense and he’ll be one of those babies who pushes other babies around.”

She kissed the top of Micah’s head after she said it, and Micah let out a small laugh.

Soon their child would start talking and expressing his thoughts. After all, their son was amazing.

“You’re doing it again,” Bay accused with a laugh in her voice. “You’re doing that whole rooster thing where you thrust your chest out and show off your son, proving that your p-e-n-i-s can be wielded like the mightiest of swords.”

“He’s going to learn to spell that. And p-e-n-i-s isn’t a dirty word.”

She growled, and Micah let out a yelp. Quickly, she pulled him closer, and Adam took his turn to roll his eyes.

“Really? You’re mothering him like he’s the best baby in the world.”

She glared at him over their son’s head.

He winced, not because of her look of “doom”, but because of the slight incline in their path. “Only because you’re the best mother in the world.”

“Don’t let your mother hear you say that,” she said as they made their way into their home.

He looked over his shoulder, imagining his soft, yet Alpha, mother coming from behind and attacking him with a wooden spoon—or just her claws. “Don’t say that. She could come at any moment.”

“Your mother is the one all of us Jamenson women strive to be.”

Adam frowned at her tone. “You’re an amazing mother, Bay. You don’t need to strive to be anyone but who you are.”

She turned, rose to her toes, and kissed him softly. “Thank you for that. I was thinking more that if she could deal with the six of you boys and your sister, she can do anything.”

Adam threw his head back and laughed. “True. My mother is one he—ck of a mother.”

Bay glared at his almost-misstep and continued to the nursery. “I’m going to set him down for his n-a-p, and then we can snuggle.” She winked as she said it, and his cock perked up.


Hell yeah.

He cleared his throat. “I thought it was his dinner time.” It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to snuggle with his mate—dear goddess how he wanted to do that—but they needed to care for Micah first.

Bay lifted a brow and smiled. “I’m going to feed, burp, and change him before his nap. It’s the routine.”

“Then let me help,” Adam put in as he followed her to the nursery. It had once been a tomb of sorrow but now stood as a testament of how much they loved their son.

“When you grow boobs, I’m sure you can,” she teased as she sat down in the rocking chair and pulled down her yoga top.

All funny thoughts of him with boobs vanished at the sight of his mate’s nipple before Micah attached himself like a greedy glutton.

The sight of his mate feeding their child was another one of those sights that threatened to bring him to his knees. Well, knee, since he had only one, but it was the principle of the matter.

He hobbled forward and leaned down to run a knuckle over the soft slope of her breast above their child’s head.

“I love you, oh mate of mine,” Bay whispered.

He looked into those green eyes that always ensnared him in the best ways possible. “I love you too.” He kissed the top of his son’s head then kissed the corner of Bay’s mouth. “I’m going to start dinner so you’re fed and well before we settle in. While it’s cooking, I’ll come back and change Micah for you so you can rest.”

He needed to do everything he could for her. Words didn’t matter. Lies were easily said, easily heard. Actions never lied—even if their intended purpose might be misconstrued.

His Bay had to know he cared for her and needed her in his life. He had to prove he was worth being in hers.

Bay tilted her head and reached out to stroke his cheek. “You don’t need to do that. I can handle it.”

Adam gave a small smile and pressed her palm to the side of his face, inhaling that sweet scent that brought him home while bringing him to the edge of sanity.

“Let me do this for you.”

Let me do everything.

Bay let out a small sigh and jostled Micah. “Of course. I could use the rest.”

He knew she was lying, even though she did indeed need to slow down. His Bay was trying to be the Enforcer by his side and learn how to be a new mother, all the while learning what it meant to be part of the Redwood Pack, rather than just a lone wolf.

They had all changed, and if Adam had anything to say about it, it would be for the better.

He walked to the kitchen, ignoring the pain in his stump, and started to make dinner, pulling out the chicken, vegetables, and rice. Though he was a red-meat type of guy—come on, he was a wolf after all—Bay loved eating healthy, so that’s what they would do.

She had a sweet tooth he loved to indulge, meaning they went to Willow’s Bakery or kitchen whenever they could to get the baked goods that made most want to orgasm on the spot. His brother Jasper, Willow’s mate, was a lucky man.

Adam thought about his fierce Bay and smiled. He was pretty lucky as well.

As the chicken was cooking, he leaned against the counter, letting his body rest without the extra weight on his stump. He knew eventually he wouldn’t even feel the pain. Though humans would always have to deal with it in some fashion, as a wolf, he would be able to lead a normal life, even if he had to learn to run on a prosthetic leg, so he could protect his family.

As a wolf, he had only three legs, which might have scared some, but he took it as his due. His punishment. He could run with the best of them and fight for his family. Even so, he’d almost felt like he’d never be whole because he’d pushed his family away. It ached at him that he’d hurt them so much but he’d do whatever he could to fix it.

He deserved what he got because he’d hurt Bay so much.

He’d never forget the broken look on her face when he’d walked away—even if he’d only done it to say goodbye to his past. He should have stayed and explained. Instead, he’d broken his mate and almost destroyed their fragile mate bond.

He was the same man who’d beaten Jasper when his brother had threatened to walk away from Willow for her own safety during the beginning stage of their mating. Then, when Adam had thought he’d spend his life alone in penance for letting Anna and their unborn child die, Bay had come into his life, bringing Micah with her.

The grease from chicken popped in the pan, bringing him out of his thoughts. He quickly flipped it over before it burned, letting the smell of garlic and basil fill his nose.

“Micah’s down for the count,” Bay said as she walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his middle from behind. Her sweet berry-and-ice scent settled over him, and he sighed.

“I thought I was going to do that for you so you could relax.”

Bay moved to stand between him and the stove, meeting his eyes. “It was easy for me to do it. You can go in and kiss him later though. I know you love that little boy just as much as I do. You’re cooking dinner for us and doing everything else in the house you can these days. Take a breath, Adam. You’re going to overwork yourself.”

Didn’t she see that he had to? Didn’t she see that, if he didn’t, he’d break because he needed to make sure she knew she and Micah were the best things in his life?

He took the chicken off the burner and turned off the heat before bringing Bay closer. “You’re my everything, Bay Jamenson. I’m doing all of this because I can, because I don’t want you to have to. You’ve done so much for me that I can’t even breathe because I love you so much. Let me love you.”

Bay smiled, her face brightening. “I will always let you do that, dork. You’re my everything, just as much as I’m yours. Slow down with me. Okay?” She ran her hands down his back, cupping his ass through his jeans. “What do you say we put the food in the fridge and make out like high school pups?”

Adam threw his head back and laughed. “Soon I’ll be able to throw you over my shoulder and carry you to the bedroom. I’ll show you just how much of a caveman I still am, but for now, your plan sounds like a great idea.”

Bay’s eyes darkened at his words, even as the thin rings of gold of her wolf’s presence glowed around her irises. “You know what? I’m sure the food will be fine just waiting for us on the counter.” She wiggled out of his hold and ran to the bedroom, shucking off her clothes as she did so.

Adam prowled behind her, stripping off his shirt. She’d have to help with his pants and leg, but she liked doing it, and he liked her hands on him.

His wolf growled in appreciation of what was to come, and he smiled.

Oh yes, this was one way to show how much he loved her.

His favorite way.

end of excerpt


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