If You Were Mine

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Life rocked.

Seriously.

Sure, life had its hardships and was never truly easy, but sometimes I knew if I just let my face tilt up to the sun, even in a Colorado winter, I’d be able to let life touch me once again.

Because it rocked.

I looked down at one of my best friends and couldn’t help but smile. “You are living up to your name today, because look at that sky.” My loving and adorable golden retriever tilted his head up to follow my gaze, and I knew I had the smartest, sweetest boy there ever was.

Yes, even at four years old, his face had already gone a little white, but he was still my puppy. And I always loved the fact that golden retrievers looked as if they were smiling sometimes or had the saddest expression with those big eyes. I blamed their eyebrows. They were just so expressive.

Lucky shook his head at me, a very human expression on his face, and then rotated his hips back to stretch.

“Oh, big stretch.” I paused, wondering when exactly I was going to stop saying that phrase. However, my cutest boy did just stretch, and he deserved to know I had noticed.

Lucky had been my graduation and birthday present from my big brother, and I had a feeling Joshua had known exactly the perfect puppy for me. Because Lucky was just as exasperated as my big brother when I didn’t do exactly as I was told.

“Okay grumpy Gus, it’s time to head to doggie daycare.”

At the sound of my voice, he wiggled his butt, went to go get his favorite stuffie, which today happened to be a stuffed rabbit from two years ago. He’d been a little spoiled during our Christmas celebrations, but then again, he was my child. He deserved the best.

“No stuffies today. You’re allowed to bring your ball though.”

His ears perked, and he did a little circle dance, before dropping his stuffie and picking up his orange and blue ball.

I rolled my eyes, because I should have said toy. Now that I had said the word ball I was going to have to play outside of the building for a couple of minutes before walking him to doggie daycare.

I was grateful that the Cages had not only rented me the building with my bakery inside, but also the apartment above. Yes, my home constantly smelled like baked goods, but considering I was the owner and head baker, I always smelled like sugar, flour, and yeast.

One day I would have enough saved to get a little home around Cage Lake and be able to let Lucky roam around in a large yard to his heart’s content with ball time and outdoor time.

Until then however, the bakery did host a small outdoor eatery area where pets were allowed to hang out, and I was right across the street from a large park. That meant he could get his ball time off leash, at least during certain times of the morning, and then we’d head out to doggie daycare.

I grabbed my purse, and flashlight, because while the sun was out, there were enough trees that if the ball went where it shouldn’t, it was going to be annoying to find later.

Lucky, still attached to his leash, bounded beside me down the back stairs, thankfully not knocking me off.

As soon as we hit the park, I let him off his leash, and without looking back, he darted towards the corner of the flat area of the park. I rolled my eyes, because he didn’t even have to look at me. No, Lucky he knew I would throw the ball. Because if I didn’t, I would get those huge puppy eyes. And even after four years, I couldn’t say no.

I tossed the ball, and of course it hit a tree, then a limb of another tree, before hopping down right next to Lucky. He looked at me, those eyebrows so expressive I saw the disappointment in them, but picked up the ball anyway. Then he ran full speed towards me before daintily dropping it at my foot.

This went on for another six throws or so—thankfully I hadn’t hit another tree—and after he took care of his business, and I cleaned it up, it was time to go to doggie daycare.

The owners had decided to call it Dog Gone It. I still had no idea why they had gone with that, but if it made them happy, and it made Lucky happy, that was all that mattered.

At least it didn’t have the name Cage in it.

My lips twitched, because my bakery was called Rising Cage.

The Cage family pretty much owned Cage Lake. They had founded it generations ago, and before it had become a tourist destination, thanks to the resort, also owned by the Cages, it had been a mining town. And when the mines had closed, the Cages had turned it into this.

Or at least the past two generations had. They had plastered their name on everything they could, gobbled up any land they hadn’t already owned, and hadn’t quite turned into robber barons.

Thankfully this new generation, the ones that included my friends, were the good sort. They were kind, even while grumpy, and cared about the people in town. They also didn’t want to own everything.

Aston Cage, the eldest Cage, had helped me open up the bakery of my dreams less than a year ago. The town’s original bakery had burned down in a fire and the three built since either shut down or went out of business. The final one had closed while I was in high school, and the town was sorely lacking.

Not everybody would have taken a chance on a twenty-year-old with an associate’s degree. But Aston had. So when I had worked on finishing up business classes to make sure I knew what I was doing, I had begun working on the bakery.

Now I had employees, ledgers, overhead, and I was in the black.

The Cages had taken a chance on me, and I knew it was because I was a family friend. And I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or whatever that expression was.

I dropped off Lucky, and thankfully he was on his ball-high so he wasn’t sad that I had abandoned him.

I winced at that. I always hated leaving my baby boy at doggie daycare, but he was a large golden retriever, at least seventy pounds, but we weren’t going to talk to him about that, and I owned a bakery. The health code violations alone would be too much. And I wasn’t going to have him locked up in my small apartment all day.

For now he got to play with his friends, and I knew he would be taken care of.

Maybe having a large dog at this point in my life wasn’t the smartest idea, but I wouldn’t change Lucky for the world.

After all, Joshua was rarely in town, and that meant Lucky was my only family sometimes.

Though if I said things like that to Joshua, using my big eyes just like Lucky did, my brother would be at my side in an instant.

Overprotective, slightly overbearing, and growly.

But then sometimes he would bring a certain Cage with him, and all would be right in the world.

I rolled my eyes as I began my morning prep. My employee, Melody, whistled under her breath as she worked on the sourdough that we were setting up for the afternoon.

Thankfully she couldn’t read my mind, but as soon as that Cage walked in, she’d be able to read my face. She had always been able to.

Thankfully she didn’t tease me. And thankfully my brother had no idea that I was totally crushing on his best friend.

His much older best friend.

Well, Joshua and Dorian were the same age, but I was not.

No, I was eight years younger, and even though I was an adult, out of college, and a business owner, I was still the baby sister.

But first crushes never went away.

As I set the frosted cookies aside and rubbed my lower back, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Flour coated one cheek, and I was pretty sure there was some form of frosting in my dark red hair. I dyed it different colors constantly, because it was fun. The only color I never truly went was an orange, mostly because the one time I had it had been a total accident, and it was not my color.

“You look a fright,” Melanie teased.

I rolled my eyes. “That’s what happens when I get to work, and I’m thinking about too many things at once.”

“Joshua should be back in town today, right?

“Yep. He’s in Denver right now but plans on being here for dinner.”

“I’m glad that he has an apartment here, and he doesn’t have to sleep on your tiny couch.”

“If Joshua had his way, I would be living in that apartment with him. Or he would in fact be living on my couch. I don’t think he likes the fact that we live separately. It’s not like he actually lives in Cage Lake year-round.”

Cage Lake was a beautiful town with memories and a thriving historical community. It had been growing over time, but the Cages made sure it didn’t explode.

There were laws in place by the town governance to make sure that things didn’t hurt the environment and grow exponentially. Even the resort on the east side of town had strict limits on how many people were allowed to be there at a time.

It brought in the income our town needed in order to take care of itself, but as of yet, it hadn’t overflowed into making Cage Lake inhospitable or unlivable.

It was home. Unlike some who were transplants, I had been born and raised here—except for a few years after my parents died.

I ran my hand over my chest. No, I didn’t like to think about those years.

“What are you planning on making him?” Melody asked as she flipped the sign to open. People walked in with coffee in their hands and smiled. Our regulars.

“Stew, I think. It’s already made.”

“Good. He can cook for you from now on.” She rolled her eyes.

I understood. I did tend to mother my brother sometimes just how he liked to be overprotective.

But it was what we did.

We were each other’s family, along with Lucky.

We went through our busy rush, selling out of bagels and muffins far quicker than I was planning. However we had backups of other things, and Melody was fantastic at selling what we had on hand.

The Caged Bean was close by and was the town’s gourmet coffee shop. While we sold drip coffee, and any type of sugar or creamer that you wanted, the Caged Bean was where people got their cappuccinos, Americanos, specialty coffees, and even a coffee flight featuring sweet and elaborate lattes.

We worked together, rather than as adversaries. They sold my baked goods, and I made sure that my customers knew exactly where they could easily get coffee, and at a discount if they found my card.

It worked well for me, and for them, and I was just happy that things were working out.

Even if, once again, the Cages were involved.

As Melody worked the front, I went back to decorating a few cakes that we had as orders, as well as a few that I wanted to set out front. Sometimes people bought cakes on the fly, and that was always a sight to see.

By the time lunch rolled over, I remembered I hadn’t eaten, but I knew I would get to it eventually. I had a few big orders to get through, thanks to a family reunion taking place up at the lake, and I didn’t want to get behind.

However, as I turned the corner, my chest seized, and I had to stop and slowly let out a breath. Thankfully Melody didn’t see and wouldn’t ask questions.

She didn’t know after all.

No, the only one who did was Joshua, and I was glad that my brother wasn’t here yet.

I told myself to breathe, going through the exercises I had learned as a child. When I caught my breath, I looked down at my phone, and realized it was later than I thought.

Joshua should have been here by now.

Well, I’m sure he would text soon. Maybe there was traffic getting up the mountain.

I went back up front to work with Melody, when a familiar face walked into the shop.

I smiled at Hudson Cage, one of Dorian’s numerous brothers. The fact that Dorian had not only one family, but two thanks to his dad’s philandering ways, still surprised me. He had eleven siblings.

I wasn’t sure how that had happened, but then again, remembering Dorian and Hudson’s dad, I guess I knew exactly how it happened.

The man had always been a jerk to me, but then again, he had been rude to anyone he thought beneath him.

Hudson however was not like his father. In fact, other than the growliness, he was the exact opposite. He was a loner and liked being the cabin man. You know, the type of guy who lived and worked in the woods, and you never knew exactly what he did. Some of the women in town couldn’t help but fall for him, you know because he was the broody, bearded type, the one with secrets and stories to tell even though he would never tell them.

I just thought he was Dorian’s brother.

There was probably something wrong with me. Okay, there was seriously something wrong with me and I knew what it was.

A crush that wouldn’t quit.

I opened my mouth to tease Hudson since he rarely showed his face these days. He liked staying out of the spotlight now that one of their many sisters had moved to town and had taken up some of the Cage responsibilities that Hudson had been forced into.

But then I saw the paleness of his features underneath his beard, and my throat went dry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice soft.

“Oh my God, there’s been a plane crash out on the private airfield!” Ms. Patty screamed before Hudson could say a thing. She was the mayor’s wife, a busybody with a heart of gold, and bile crept up my throat.

Because I knew exactly what airfield she was talking about. Because if it had made the news here so quickly, there only had to be one.

The one where my brother worked occasionally.

“Hudson?” I asked, my voice shaky.

A beat of silence. A growl of a voice. “You need to come with me.”

Everyone stopped moving as they stared between us.

“Oh my God, is it Joshua?” someone asked even though I couldn’t pay attention well enough to figure out who it was.

Hudson didn’t answer, instead just stared at me in that stone way that he always did. I immediately undid my apron and grabbed my bag from under the counter.

“Melody.” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. No. I would not react. Not now. Not when others could see and gossip. All was well. I had to show that. I couldn’t break on the outside when it was as if I were ready to shatter on the inside.

Melody, my full-time employee and friend gave me a sad look, her eyes filling. “I got it. And I’ll make sure that Scarlett or I can take care of Lucky too. Just keep us updated.”

“Okay,” I said, my voice low.

Melody looked over my shoulder. “Take care of her, Hudson.”

“Don’t worry, she’ll be safe with me.”

I wanted to believe that, but I wasn’t sure I was going to be safe ever again with the way he just stared at me. The way he wasn’t giving me a single update as to what he was thinking.

“Hudson?” I asked after we got into his truck, and I pulled out my phone. “What am I going to see when I look up the news?”

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and took a moment to respond. I hated how careful he was being. “Small plane crash. They don’t know what happened, though I’m sure they’re just saying that. There were two people on board.”

My hand squeezed my phone so tightly that my knuckles whitened. “Who was it? I mean, if you’re here, it’s got to be Joshua. Right? Is my brother okay?”

“Joshua and Dorian were in the plane.”

Silence.

A void of emotion.

A crack in the world that began to erode beneath my feet.

My throat tightened, and I just stared at him, wondering if the ringing in my ears would go away soon. “Do you know anything else? Hudson. What happened?”

“I don’t know, Harper. All I know is that there was an accident.”

I studied the line of his jaw as he wove down the mountain with such ease and practice like he had been doing it all his life. But then again, other than the time when he had been overseas, he had been.

And so I knew he was lying to me.

“Hudson? What else do you know?”

He let out a breath, and it took me a moment to catch the stress and cracking beneath it. “Harper.”

“Just tell me. If it’s both of them, I need to know. Because it’s them.”

My family. Two men that I loved. Not that I could tell Hudson that.

Not that Hudson didn’t already know or could guess.

Hudson’s growl of a voice filled the cab of the truck. “One is alive. In surgery. The other didn’t make it.”

And with that, a screaming void wrapped its skeleton-like hand around my neck and squeezed. I didn’t say a word, I couldn’t. Instead I turned to face the front and tried not to focus on the trees passing by, or the others going about their life as if the world hadn’t ended.

“I’m sorry, Harper. I wish I knew more.”

I reached out and grabbed his hand, and he squeezed it back. The man who didn’t like touch, who didn’t like most people, gave me comfort when he didn’t know if his younger brother was dead or not.

We made it to the hospital in a little over an hour, with our service spotty at best. Nobody had texted me or reached out. I had a feeling that Ms. Patty and Melody had ensured that none of the town would bother me. And that the Cages were all talking with Hudson.

But when we walked through the emergency room doors, and I saw so many of the Cages there, so many of Dorian’s family members, I’d never felt more alone.

I didn’t know who was dead—Joshua or Dorian.

I didn’t want to think about what would happen when I knew the answer.

I didn’t want to choose who I needed, who I wanted to be alive.

Amy, Dorian’s girlfriend, came forward and wrapped her arms around Hudson tightly before giving me a nod and going back to the group. Dorian’s mother was there as well, speaking in hushed tones to one of his brothers. I knew she had a complicated relationship with the rest of them, but right then and there, I couldn’t focus on anything but needing answers.

And then Aston Cage, the eldest of them all walked forward, and I knew. In that moment of peace before a shattered soul, the guilt, the worry, and the absolute pity on his face.

I knew.

My knees gave out, and Hudson was there, trying to keep me steady, and I screamed.

Because Dorian’s family was there. Nearly all of them, filling the waiting room to the brim. Because he had family. A big one. One that loved him with every single complicated and tangled relationship they had.

And I had lost the only family I had left.

And I ignored the part of me that screamed in relief that it hadn’t been Dorian.

Because my brother was dead.

And I let the darkness take me.